More Stuff Goshdarnit

A poem dedicated to the modern-day Irish dance dress:

More stuff goshdarnit
Why have one skirt when I can have three?
Why have one stone when I can have many?
Bright orange leopard print? Sure; why not?
Why just one butt bow? Make it fourteen.
Why? Why? WHY?
GLUTTONY!

Harajuku Dress

SAS: Tron's Daughter

What? Tron was Irish.

Dance with Pride.

This dress would be perfect for an Irish dance performance at a gay wedding. It would certainly fit the motif, no?

Old-Timey Solo Dress

These dresses aren't ugly, per se, but in my two years of Irish dancing I have learned a few things. Like not to show up in class in baggy sweatpants because it inhibits how well you can move your legs. These dresses have a lot more fabric than my baggy sweatpants. This leads to the question: how the hell can someone dance in a dress like this without tripping and falling?

Gavin! What the Hell?

Neon green sleeves. Christmas trees. Whatever the hell shaped bodice that's supposed to be. And a purple underskirt that doesn't even match the damn dress. Really? Who finds this design attractive? And this poor girl paid how much for it?

I Like This Dress

But I wouldn't be wearing the same colors as the most hated multinational corporation in the world right now. Because nothing says bummer like destroying our natural resources in the name of greed.

F*ck you, BP.

Ladies, Please...

Here's a tip for all the dancing queens out there: when you want to spend thousands of dollars on a dress that will wash you out, don't. Face it, ladies, no one looks all that good in construction worker orange. Plus, the color keeps the judges from looking at your steps because it's so bright. And, at the end of the day, isn't a feis about the dancing? No? Okay.

Fire and Brimstone

A simple, yet stylish, reminder of where I'm going when I die.

Support The Troops.

Are you in a competition to see which Irish dancer supports the troops the most!!!!!!! (Yes, that was seven exclamation points and no question mark)

Then why not show your support for Dubya's farce the war in Iraq with your Irish dance dress? Yay! Today, taking the Irish dance world by storm with your pink camo solo dress. Tomorrow, dodging RPGs launched by the Taliban. Just like a big girl : )

The (She)Wolf Talked Me Into It.

Damn

Some people have way too much time on their hands. Yup, these are solo dress cookies, handmade by an Irish dance mom. It's a really good idea, but I don't know many moms who actually have the time to do this with, you know, kids running around. Most moms barely have time to breathe, especially when they're running to Wal-Mart because their DD told them about the school bake sale today...10 minutes before it began.

Show The World You Love Irish Dance (for only $250!)

This dress is a steal for your love-struck Irish dancer. That being said, even bargainistas can run into some pretty weird-looking crap once in a while.

4-26-10: It's still for sale.

Saturday Afternoon Special: Screw Conformity.

What to do when you're a goth in a sport dominated by girls in frilly, fluorescent pink $3000 dresses.



Take that, conformists!

Curb Your Enthusiasm, Man.

Make Your Own Ugly Solo...And Your Own Fake Softshoes.

Leaps and Bounds

I don't want to talk about the way-too-brightly colored dress, or the ginormous wig, or the obscene amount of red lipstick on this small child. I don't want to talk about any of that.

That's a pretty sweet leap there. You go, girl.

Purple. Butt. Bow.

I do not, for the life of me, get why people spend thousands of dollars of hard-earned American money on ugly dance dresses. Let's take this one in for a minute. Ahhhh....

Yes, that is a purple satin butt bow. On an Irish dance dress. And for the amount of money that was probably spent on it, it was more than likely worn in public multiple times.

I don't care how many championships you've won--if you are over the age of six, there's no excuse for going to a feis or a parade with a Barney-colored bow on your behind. Period, end of sentence.

Star Trek Solo Dress

When your 10-year-old is going through her Trekkie phase, what will her next solo look like? This pretty much describes it.